The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
