Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
