her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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