butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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