glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
