I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize