I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We don't watch enough power rangers
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
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