My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
