I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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