someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize