My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
