You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
