Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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