Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize