nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
