If that was your dad, he is hot
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
