I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize