dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
