Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Those nachos came to me in a dream
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
