doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
