Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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