the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
