PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
