he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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