Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Floor bacon is actually really good
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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