i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
