My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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