maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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