Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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