i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
