stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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