i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
