we have pet lesbian snakes
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
