you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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