She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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