Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
