So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
