Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
