He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
