distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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