I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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