Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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