On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
