I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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