I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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