I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize