I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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