her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
