Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hippo gnu deer
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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