I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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