Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
