I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can you repeat that, but with context?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
