It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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