FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Its about making memories worth repressing
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize