your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize