My nipple is on Facebook.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
