that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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