1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
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