So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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