dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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