Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
