ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She's like a pop up book from hell.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
