Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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