Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
These tits shall not be calmed
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize