How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
