I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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