She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
