Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
