are you still at the devil's house?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
