So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
