The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
