So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
